Until the End of Time, Until the Day I Die
by StValentineSt
Summary: Tell me, Ryuzaki-san, have you ever killed? Have you ever pressed the trigger till it can go no longer, sending the bullet straight into one's heart, almost physically feeling the metal rip the soft tissues of a beating heart?..."


**This is an old oneshot about Light Yagami, something that just was on my mind. I was merely thinking of what would happen if Light had another reason to do what he was doing. A deeper reason, something from his past, a trigger for his hatred towards the world. Also, the parts about Megumi's past and her present, her real relationship with Light, as well as certain other things are left vague on purpose, for I intended it so. I wish for the readers to interpret it in their own way, therefore I did not tell everything straight out. ^^**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoy it and if you do, leave a short review ;) Also, if you feel curious or want to ask something, just message me or, again, leave a comment in the review section ^^**

* * *

She walked along the street, looking around, watching, observing... The people walked by her, some of them rushing, some taking a stroll, some standing, some running, some talking... some alive... some dead. A dark shadowy figure passed by her and a gust of cold touched the girl's body as she turned around and her eyes met its. It didn't like to be seen, it didn't like to be heard... it didn't like to be known. But she did. She closed her eyes and turned away, walking further on. This was not her business. She didn't care who lived or died... except for one person.

* * *

A petite girl, wearing a light summer dress, halted in front of a house. A small Japanese house, but in her memories, it harbored the warmest moments of her life. Memories, yes... She closed her grey eyes, flashbacks of her past flowing in her mind. So much pain and so much anger... so much hatred. So little of love. The girl opened her eyes again. The memories of the days in this house eased her pain and calmed the storm in her heart. Yes, she has come back, finally.

Her hand reached out slowly as if she was not rushing anywhere and the slim fingers pressed on the doorbell. In a short moment, a familiar face showed up behind the doors. The woman stared at the girl for a few seconds until she recognized the visitor.

The girl bowed politely, greeting the owner of the house, "Good afternoon, Mrs. Yagami."

"Oh, my... Megumi-chan," Mrs. Yagami seemed to have lost her gift of speech. "Oh, dear!"

The older woman pulled the girl into a hug and the latter hugged her back, enjoying the warmth of another person. The two had a little chat until the girl finally expressed her wish to see Light. Mrs. Yagami merely nodded her head, her eyes watching the girl almost pitifully. It has been years since she last saw this child and it still pained her to see those void eyes. Yet, the woman could perfectly understand Megumi's wish to see her one and only friend and so, without much doubt, she gave the address of the university, where Light was attending his classes. She could only imagine the joy and surprise her son would feel at seeing his old friend again.

And so, Megumi left the house that made her feel almost alive again and headed along the streets, following the directions that Mrs. Yagami had given to her. It did not take too long for her to reach the University and Megumi halted momentarily as she entered the campus, her eyes scanning the area. She still didn't know what she'd say to him, when she finally met him.

No, that was not entirely true. She knew what she wanted to say. She just could not. At that moment, the girl felt cold pierce her body as if tiny needles and she looked to her right, pressing her lips into a tight line. It was standing there, looking down at her, as if mocking her, as if asking whether she already knew. She did. There wasn't much time left. Or maybe there was. Megumi was different. She had crossed the line, the forbidden line, and she saw things no one should ever see.

It was snickering. She could not hear it, but she could feel it with all the cells of her human body. It was laughing at her, making fun of her, toying with her. Megumi looked at its void 'face' with hollow holes instead of eyes. She wouldn't even call it black, no, it wasn't black. It was hollow. Its shadowy body flapped in the air, the black ominous color intimidating the girl. She watched as it hissed at her silently as if in a final warning and then finally left.

Still, she knew it would be back again. It came back to her from time to time. Because it hated her. For she could see it. For she knew what it was.

"Me-Megumi-chan?!" then, she heard someone gasp and the girl turned around with a smile on her face, already having recognized the voice, despite her long long time away from him.

"Light-kun!"

Her smile, however, faded as soon as she saw him. No, to be more exact, the thing beside him. For a short moment, she watched it intently. The girl knew what that was. A shinigami. Differently from the shadowy figures Megumi liked to call Messengers, shinigamis could take a life in an instant. She had met some of them before and she knew their power. But what could he be doing here? The girl shuddered at the thought of his target being Light. No, anyone but Light. She stared at the creature almost angrily as he chuckled and grinned at her, waving his hand in mock greeting. Megumi didn't manage to reply in any way as Light came up, disbelief in his clear, now wide eyes.

"Megumi-chan?"

The girl nodded, smiling slightly, "Light-kun, I'm back."

The two just stood, staring each other, trying to take in every slight detail of each other's faces, eyes, lips... Suddenly, the browned haired boy let out the breath he seemed to have been holding and leaned to her, pulling her into a hug. Megumi hugged him back, closing her eyes at the pleasure of his touch. Not even a few hours have passed since her comeback and she had already been hugged twice. A warm feeling, so warm she could drown in it. The girl opened her eyes, staring behind Light and they met with another pair of eyes. Black eyes with dark circles underneath. The guy's face was pale and he was standing a bit leaned forward. He brought his hand to his mouth as he watched the pair with high interest. Megumi broke out of the hug involuntarily, though Light still held her hand in his firmly.

"Who is she, Light-kun?" The pale boy wondered, cocking his head to one side in an almost cute way.

Light casted an angry glance at the pale guy, as if he had just interrupted something incredibly important.

"_Yeah, who's the girl, Light?" _Megumi heard the Shinigami cackle, but chose to ignore the creature. For now.

Meanwhile, Light was silent, as if he was contemplating and so Megumi took out her hand of his and reached it out to the pale guy.

"I'm Megumi, Light-kun's childhood friend."

The guy looked at her hand as if studying it. For a moment, the girl even thought he's not gonna take it, but then he shook it, quite firmly, looking straight into her eyes. His gaze was straightforward, eyes of a man, who had nothing to hide.

"Ryuzaki."

She averted her glance, unable to hold her stance against him. She just couldn't look at them, those piercing black eyes. As if he could see right into her. Light's eyes were different. Sharp, but different.

And while the two were exchanging pleasantries, none of them noticed the rage slowly filling Light's brown eyes as he watched the girl shake hands. Yet, he controlled himself well and a usual smile crept up his lips as he grabbed Megumi's hand into his again.

"Let's talk elsewhere, Megumi-chan."

The girl nodded, smiling. "Let's go to that little cafe, it's been some time since I had ice-cream there."

Light nodded, smiling at her gently. "Yes, it has."

"Ice-cream?" Ryuzaki perked up and smiled at the two. "May I come too?"

Surprised, Megumi laughed, ignoring a row of eerie chuckles behind her back. "You like ice-cream?"

"Yes," Ryuzaki nodded contently.

The girl smiled brightly, yet again failing to notice a slight frown on Light's lips. "Let's go then! Towards the sweets!"

She skipped along the path happily, dragging Light with her, Ryuzaki following closely behind, his eyes watching Light's hand not letting hers go.

* * *

The three were sitting in a small café in the corner table at the end of the hall. Megumi was having her ice-cream with chocolate topping, Light the one with caramel, which she had forced upon him and was quite happy with the choice despite Light's sighs. Ryuzaki though was a whole different story. He had ordered all kinds of pies and cakes he could find in the menu, as well as 3 kinds of ice-cream and milkshakes. Megumi stared at the table, feeling glad she was not the one to pay for all this. She also noticed one more weird thing about that Ryuzaki guy. He was sitting in a very strange position, one she could never even have imagined by herself.

"Aren't you gonna ask it?" Ryuzaki inquired and she blinked a few times, realizing she was staring at him in a very rude way.

"Ask what?"

"Why I'm sitting like this."

Megumi simply shrugged it off. "Why would I? You must have your own reasons and if you wanted to, you could have already told me that."

It seemed like Ryuzaki was taken aback a bit by her nonchalant attitude, but then he just stuffed some cake into his mouth, so perhaps not. Light was keeping quiet, and Megumi could feel he wasn't happy at all, though she didn't know why. She glanced at the shinigami behind Light and it chuckled again. He knew she could see him. The girl shook her head and averted her gaze to Light instead. "So, how did you two meet?"

Light narrowed his eyes as he answered, "We're studying at the same university."

"Oh!"

Ryuzaki raised his head suddenly and added, half looking at Light, half at the girl, his hunches whispering him to be bold, "And we're working on a case together. Kira's case."

Light turned to Ryuzaki shocked, "Ryuzaki?!"

Ryuzaki looked at Megumi now for her reaction, but she remained blissfully ignorant. She had not heard about Kira before, so it didn't matter much to her.

"I see," she smiled at Light. "I knew you'd be a detective one day."

Ryuzaki looked at her in slight disbelief, "It doesn't surprise you?"

"Hm? What?"

"That we're working on Kira's case?"

The girl shook her head, her eyes staring at the pale boy with little interest. A moment of silence fell and L's brains worked full speed, his mind refusing to believe someone could be as totally ignorant about Kira as this girl. No, no, something else must be there and incredible possibility made its way into his brain cells.

On sudden impulse, he leaned forth, whispering, "Actually, I'm L."

His black eyes stared at her intently, waiting for any kind of a reaction. Even a smallest flicker of her eyes. He was gambling and he was just about to lose, for Megumi merely shook her head.

"I don't get what you mean."

She heard Light let out a sigh, as he explained, "Megumi-chan, Kira is an infamous criminal while L is the one trying to catch him."

The girl simply stayed quiet as Ryuzaki and Light tried to explain everything to her in detail. Finally, they were finished and another silent pause took place as Megumi stuffed a spoonful of ice-cream into her mouth, licking it off carefully.

She did not say even a word and Ryuzaki watched her with peaked interest, his brains working full speed again. He gave her a queer smile as he said, "So, Megumi-chan, what do you think of Kira?"

Surprised, the girl looked at him, "Me? About Kira?"

"Yes."

"I guess his goal is really beautiful," Megumi smiled gently, but L gave her a sharp glare.

"Beautiful? Do you think the goal justifies the means?"

Light kept quiet, unable to comprehend what L was trying to achieve, his mind having a battle of its own. He wanted to hear Megumi's thoughts, but at the same time he was afraid of something…

Meanwhile, Megumi looked at Ryuzaki. "You are really weird. Why are you asking me such questions?"

Ryuzaki was staring at her calmly now, "Kira is a killer that I'm going to catch."

Suddenly, Megumi laughed out at his words, "Don't kid me! You'll never catch him!"

Surprised, both Ryuzaki and Light were now watching her intently.

"Why is that?" asked Ryuzaki.

The girl giggled as if he had asked the most stupid question, "You don't even know what a killer is. If you think Kira is a murderer, you're greatly mistaken."

Ryuzaki's eyes widened as he could not comprehend the girl's words. Surely, Kira was a murderer. He killed people, so he was a murderer.

Megumi sighed, her eyes flickering to her ice-cream, "Do you even understand what it means to kill?"

Then, she looked up at Ryuzaki sadly. "Tell me, Ryuzaki-san, have you ever killed?"

He stared at the girl surprised, once again lost in the ideas she was spitting out so assuredly.

"I'm not talking about self-defense," she continued in a quiet voice. "I'm not talking about shooting a criminal on the run... What I'm asking you is whether you have KILLED... Killed of sheer pleasure, of craving, of bloodlust... Tell me, have you ever pressed the trigger till it can go no longer, sending the bullet straight into one's heart, almost physically feeling the metal rip the soft tissues of a beating heart? Or maybe... Have you plunged a knife into a human flesh? Have you seen the blood running down from a fresh wound? Have you tasted it, touched it... the sticky red liquid?"

At that point, Light shot up from his seat, "Megumi! Stop this!"

Ryuzaki just stared at the girl in front of him in complete shock.

Megumi shook her head, glaring up at Light, "You both seem to be mistaken here."

She then looked back at Ryuzaki, "You say you're gonna catch a killer, yet, you have no idea how a mind of a murderer works. You say Kira is a killer, yet, that man hasn't killed even once. What he does is not murder. He still hasn't tasted the blood, he hasn't crossed the line yet."

"The line?.." Ryuzaki stared at her confused.

"The forbidden line," she looked down at her ice-cream, playing with the spoon. "The point of no return. The world is different... beyond the Line."

She had finally begun to understand what was going on. After hearing about Kira, she was quick to deduce why a Shinigami was following Light around. And she knew Light the best; she knew what he was capable of, for he was always there, in her mind and in her memories. Megumi looked up, her grey orbs staring at Light intently, almost pleadingly.

"Never cross that line, if you can. For things... will never be the same again," she whispered and then casted her glance away, looking out of the window.

There was only one reason as to why a Shinigami would follow a human around so persistently, without trying to take his life. There was only one way to kill people so mysteriously as Kira did. And there was only one reason why Ryuzaki, or so called L, who was trying to catch the infamous killer Kira, would be near Light.

As Megumi contemplated, a decision hardening in her mind, her brains reeling with all the information she had just received and everything she had known before, Ryuzaki watched her in disbelief, and yet, with an interest, as he quietly asked, "Do you happen to believe in shinigamis, Megumi-san?"

The girl averted her eyes from the window slowly, meeting the straightforward gaze of Ryuzaki.

'_If that's what I can do for you, Light... So be it,'_ she thought as a soft smile crept up her lips, "They only eat apples."

Ryuzaki's eyes widened as her words rang in his head and her grey eyes stared at him with almost no emotion in them, as if she didn't have even a care in the world. Light was staring at Megumi shocked, his mind reeling with questions and his heart clenching with unexplainable horror. Ryuk merely let out a row of chuckles, as always, enjoying the scene unfolding in front of him.

* * *

Light's POV:

I couldn't believe this, what was she saying back there? She came back after 5 years and now this... I looked at Ryuzaki, standing in the middle of the room, thinking of something. This was not good, this was not good. Ryuk chuckled behind me as I tried to guess what was going on in the head of that Ryuzaki. I sent Megumi home, as I and L came to the hotel to finish some business.

"21 percent."

I narrowed my eyes, "What do you mean, Ryuzaki?"

"21 percent of her being Kira."

He turned around to look at me, his eyes piercing into me intently and calculatingly. Despite that, I completely lost my cool.

"NONSENSE! Megumi is NOT Kira!" I shrieked, my eyes burning with unexplainable rage. What the hell does he think he knows? He doesn't know a thing about Megumi! Megumi is! Megumi is…

"Why not?" L watched me as I hopelessly tried to calm myself down and finally get a grip on my feelings. "She knows things only Kira would, and her... way of thinking..."

"NO! Megumi is not Kira and I know it! I know HER! She's my friend!" I stomped to L angrily. "So don't you even dare spout such nonsense or come close to her again!"

"Friend?" Ryuzaki watched me calmly. "Or... is it something more?"

I looked at him amazed. More?

"I'd totally understand you. She's... exceptional."

Ryuzaki gazed away for a moment as I totally lost it and punched him straight into face. He was not expecting that and he fell down to the ground, his eyes wide with surprise.

"DON'T YOU DARE!" I hissed out, turned around and left as Ryuzaki got up slowly, rubbing his jaw and looking at me leave in shock.

He had never felt this confused before. Light was different... emotional. He had never seen Light display such a wide range of emotions and feelings before. As if he had totally lost control over himself. Was Megumi really that important to him? And that girl... Megumi. That girl was so strange. He felt she was not like others, tough he couldn't quite grasp it. Still, she was truly exceptional, THAT, he could tell.

* * *

_----Flashback----_

_She stood, shivering, still holding the gun in her frail hand, blood trickling down from the gunshot wound on her side. She stared at the now empty eyes of that man, his motionless and cold body. He would never hurt anyone anymore. Never. For some reason, the girl felt tears running down her cheeks. She didn't know why she cried, but it definitely wasn't tears of regret. Why would she regret killing a murderer? The scum of the world... Revenge was sweet, and the feel of killing was intoxicating... the rush of blood in her veins, the level of adrenaline rising, the joy of having let go free of all those cooped up feelings. Yes, she was a murderer herself now, yet, it felt good. So good…_

"_Megumi-chan..."_

_She turned around to see Light. He was looking at her, but his eyes didn't harbor any pity or blame. He was simply looking at her and the only thing she could discern in those warm brown eyes was understanding. _

_The girl smiled at him weakly, "I found them, Light-kun."_

_He just nodded._

"_The world... this world... is rotten," she whispered, the tears spilling out of her grey orbs._

_Light came to her, his arms wrapping around her frail figure, hugging her. She let go of the gun and it fell to the ground with a heavy thump._

"_Light-kun?"_

"_Mm?"_

"_Why is it so?.. Why can't we change the world?"_

_Light looked her into the eyes, then he leaned forth and kissed her forehead gently. "Don't worry, Megumi-chan. I'll change it for you."_

_Surprised, she looked up at him._

"_I'll cleanse this rotten world," now his eyes were sharp, cold and glittering in the dim light of the criminal gang warehouse. She leaned on to his chest, feeling as calm as she had never been in her whole life._

"_Thank you, Light-kun."_

_The two stood there, hugging each other, amidst the dead bodies of the men, that killed the ones most dear to her. Life for life._

"_I'll be waiting," she whispered, clutching to his chest with all she had._

_----Flashback----_

* * *

Megumi was sitting on Light's bed in his room, when she heard footsteps and the door opened. Light entered the room and the shinigami followed him in, grinning widely as he saw the girl. Light closed the door with a silent click. The girl kept quiet, as he came closer and halted in front of her. Ryuk chuckled behind him, watching the pair intently.

"Why? Why have you come back now?" Light asked her out aloud, almost angrily.

She merely smiled and got up, standing in front of him now, looking up at him for she reached up only to his shoulders. "You can't cleanse the world all alone, can you?"

She watched as Light stared, shocked at her words.

"I'm going down to help Mrs. Yagami with dinner," she said almost cheerfully as she passed by Light. "You can tell me later how you happened to come across a Death Note and a shinigami."

"W-What?!" Light turned to Megumi surprised and she halted by the door, looking down at the ground.

"Light-kun..." She then looked up at him. "You can use me as much as you want, just tell me, and I'll do it."

Light gazed at her confused, "Why?! How... why?"

"In my memories... you were always near."

She turned around and left the room, closing the door behind.

* * *

In the end, she didn't say what she wanted to. She knew it would be bothersome to him, just a burden, and she knew, he wasn't the type to answer her feelings. So, in the end, she didn't say it. The girl slid down by the wall she was leaning on, sitting down on the cold ground of the corridor by the door to Light's room. She looked up at the dark, distorted figure, standing in front of her, smirking with its cold pale lips. Its hollow eyes pierced into her soul, freezing it. The Messenger... of Death. It grinned, as if knowing what she was thinking of. Megumi stared at it, her body freezing slowly. Still, she knew very well, it was not her time yet. It just... liked to toy with her, to show her it had the power. But Megumi knew well - it could not take her life before her time ran out. The Messenger stood by her, watching her suffer in its cold grasp, but right now, she knew she had a reason to live once more.

The words she never said, the words she could never say.

"I love you... until the end of time... until the day I die."


End file.
